1. Dance in the rain. Stand in the middle of the street, throw your head back, crack open your mouth and tell the universe you are deserving. (That’s the first step to believing it, after all.)
2. Declare to your friend/neighbour/sister/uncle you have chosen to follow your dream from when you were seventeen. Say it proudly and outline a few steps you are taking to get there.
3. Invite feng shui into your home with a money tree (jade plant). This will serve as a daily reminder to attract joy, love and prosperity.
The crassula ovate species is carried at exclusive Swedish furniture shops with clever commercial advertisements.
Start the car. You’re on your way!
The mid-Sunday afternoon Facebook blasts,
WE’RE ENGAGED or
we’re thrilled to announce WE’RE EXPECTING or
Signed, Sealed, Delivered. We bought a house!
have a tendency to leave some feeling…without.
Well, to hell with that. It’s my turn. My partner in crime is slightly more private than I, so he is likely rolling his eyes right now. Since you spend time with me on JacGabs, I feel privileged to let you in on our little secret.
We’ve added a new family member.
Vita greets me in the morning with a smooth purr as she blends my breakfast. What more does a lady need?
Your day job occupies regular hours and you spend evenings dreaming up your next move. Your own business. You worry about wavering confidence to follow your heart, so to hold yourself accountable you’ve registered for online courses with catchy names like “Hot Business Launchpad” and “Screw the Nine to Five“.
You are redecorating your home office, calling on an expert (read: probono) interior designer, loving on your loved ones, and purging other peoples belongings with a ruthless energy you don’t recognize.
Your ten-year high school reunion is drawing near and the nervous butterflies are nowhere to be seen. This is big! Are you really that excited, or are you masking something beneath? No, you’re really that excited. Right?
Your family member’s recent illness snapped you out of February fog and March misery. You don’t want to hold back any longer.
When an acquaintance asks, “How have you been?” or “What’s new?” you find yourself tongue-tied. Why is it that we can have so much to say and so much to give other people but when the focus is on you, it’s easier to answer,
“Good. Not much. Same old.”
It’s possible that we are processing too much and haven’t yet distilled the madness. On a good day, we think “big things are brewing.” Let’s trust the process and hold on.
I wrote your story in the checkout line. Your selection of mung beans, fresh cilantro and organic ginger drew me in. I felt confused by your wireless headset and conference call about marketing strategy. I felt your energy – purposeful, yet distant – and the orientation of your feet indicated that you would not participate in Fiesta Farms small-talk.
I saw you eye my Rowe Farms rotisserie chicken, goat cheese and milk chocolate Chipits. Did you suspect, “she eats those by the handful”? Because if you did, Sir, you’re as insightful as I.
What does this look like to you?
My sister and I spent the better half of Sunday volunteering at the Boutique Ball for The Corsage Project. Helping high school students in financial need go to prom, we acted as Personal Shoppers to outfit a special student in one of the gorgeous dresses. The plethora of gowns allowed us to narrow our search by size and colour preference, followed by matching shoes, handbags and accessories. Professional makeup artists stood nearby to add the finishing touches to these precious faces. SUCH a good time!
Where’s Jac? (Hint: tallest head in the crowd)
Get your Monday morning feel-good butterflies:
Why didn’t I think of this?
Go check out this Tumblr page and report back.
c/o NYC Crying Guide
I have (quite proudly) cried all over the city of Toronto. I’ve sobbed into grocery store sushi at Loblaws, sniffled at the toll booth of Bathurst subway station, and wailed in a Courtyard Marriot parking lot. I’m going to write a guide book of Toronto, “All the places Jaclyn has cried”. While I work on my pitch for Lonely Planet, why don’t you tell me:
What’s the strangest place you’ve cried?
Pyjama pants may be one of the few socially acceptable items to hold on to from high school. Do we choose not to care about the holes in the seam or is that “size tall” bottoms are too difficult to replace? No matter the excuse, I can now safely say I do not own anything from that lifetime because I recently tossed my last pair. Apparently “It’s all about me” emblazoned on pastel pyjama pants is no longer welcome in my relationship.
I remember being gifted those pyjamas as a sixteen year old – a stage when it is developmentally appropriate to be self-centred. Eleven years later I proudly declare those words and encourage my peers to do the same
Now is the time to follow your heart. No one is going to stroke your ego until your confidence surfaces. It already is ALL about you so go make it happen. It’s not selfish, it’s survival.
Friendships morph as we get older, take on more responsibility and have partners to tend to! All the more reason that I want to be a good friend to the lovely people with whom I share Saturday nights, Sunday brunches and urgent Tuesday evening phone calls. I’ve been giving thought to defining moments that mark a friendship and am warmed by the memories they evoke.
I called S when I had a Dawson’s Creek moment of a kiss in the park.
I phoned N when I didn’t know how to write an essay and was afraid of failing.
I trembled when I told A my worries that my boyfriend forgot our anniversary.
I wept to S when I felt I couldn’t cope.
These moments tell you so much about human connection.
I could hear S’s supportive smile.
N modeled a writing strategy to emulate.
A met me with a bouquet of flowers.
S listened and held my hand.
It’s not “Friendship Week” or anything cheesy like that. This is simply a reminder that our friends carry us through some of the most difficult times and for these relationships, I am eternally grateful.
You can’t fool me, I know you have experienced this too. A traumatic event, the passing of a loved one, or a dark period when you felt there was no climbing out of that depression trap.
I’m approaching the anniversary of such a time and wonder, what is the healthiest way to move through this day?
Do we distract ourselves with treats to numb the pain?
Or do we let the memories slip out, sit with them, and try to march back to strength?
I can admit that I struggle with this. Some days I feel victorious for making it through to the other side feeling stronger and more resilient, and other times I don’t feel like looking back.
It’s the anniversary of the ugly and I need to know, what do YOU do?
How did you spend your weekend? Scarfing down macarons and over-caffeinating on cappuccinos? Me too.
Actually, I kicked off my weekend doing something I LOVE. A friend enlisted my help to cleanse her closet, purge her belongings and give her a swift kick in the butt. This gorgeous gal has been living with too much clutter – too many shapeless pieces of clothing that hinder her confidence to march into her next place of employment with confidence.
There’s also something to be said for a coming of age acceptance of your body shape for items that fit and flatter. By the end of our 3-hour session, we had paired down her wardrobe to silhouettes that show off her svelte mid-section, hug her beautiful curves and command attention walking into the foyer of an interior design firm.
I have years of experience and donation piles of evidence that I know what I’m doing. Inquire within for an image overhaul tailored to your needs. Maybe you are just a closet cleanse away from feeling your best.
Let’s find out together.